swimming under stars

can't sleep
it's like i am still on pacific coast time
the timezone with the seastacks and bald eagles
where the sunsets turn the sky and ocean on fire,
orange mirrorlike water, surrounding rocks covered
seastars, anemones, limpets and mussels, clinging
to life for one more night, for one more day

my face, dry from sun, wind, sand
warms now from the glowing fire
darkness falls, bits of spark float towards sky
leaving orange trails behind them like little comets
the big fat milky way fills its band in the sky
and we feel again like we are very very lucky
and very very small at the same time

my body is too warm by the fire
longing for the chilling cold of the water
toes, then knees
cold, then numb
running in the surf
diving under the tallest wave
coming to surface with a scream
the cold biting my torso and stomach
the beauty, strength of my body in turbulent water
i swim back towards shore
my legs still underwater lose feeling
my arms out in the wind are equally cold
but the middle, still in the frothing water
is strangely warm, my blood shunted to the core
pumping, i feel my heart beat strong and hard in my chest

i am running now on sand, longing for the soft dry towel
and the warmth of the fire
i stretch out next to it
bathing in its warmth, feeling my limbs relax, my heart slow
adrenalin still pumping
i am alive
all i can think is
i am alive
lovingly, beautifully, spectacularly
alive

-----
written 10/14 upon my return from my annual backpacking trip to the Washington coast.