THE NEW RULES
I don't know why it came down to me to tell you about this, but anyway, here goes: if you don't buy at least ten books a year, you'll be struck by lightning, or maybe a bus. It's the new rule. Yeah. You'll probably be sent a more official notice in the mail pretty soon, but for now, you're hearing it from me. Ten books a year, or the bus or lightning, each of them very painful and likely deadly. Is the rule a bit harsh? Well, maybe. Some people might think so, but then again, those people won't be with us very long, because anyone who complains about the rule will be disemboweled by bears. Again, not my idea--I am just the messenger here!--but that's the way it is. I don't know why you're worried, though. just buy the ten books a year, and don't whine about it, and you won't be struck by anything or have your insides ripped out by a grizzly. Doesn't seem so complicated, really. Also, make sure you buy the right kinds of books, or else someone in a cardigan will push you off a building. Again, nothing to worry about: just buy the best kinds of books, not the bad ones, or else you'll be looking over your shoulder pretty much forever. And you can't read that way, anyway, so it all works out.
-DE
2 comments:
I don't I think some of us are making up for the people who buy less than 10 ;-)
oh, speak for yourself }:-0 in the immortal words of one of my favorite authors and fellow books hounds...er addicts...Nick Hornby: I don't want anyone writing in to point out that I spend too much money on books, many of which I will never read. I know that already. I certainly intend to read all of them, more or less. My intentions are good. Anyway, it's my money. And I'll bet you do it too.
But seriously - I don't think everyone is afflicted like we are -so I can now only use the "new rules" as means to delude myself further into thinking that my book habit might be a good thing because it is no doubt saving some poor chap, through karmic forces, from some crazy bear eating or building pushing incident. I know, it's a sad existence...but at least its chock full of books.
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