from the shore

the sand
wet
like a mirror
reflecting
sea stack, sky
we walk for a long time
at the water's edge

where the rocks are
dropped, polished
by sea and sand
some glow like marbles
others egg shaped
smooth and oblong
still others
jagged & rough
not yet finished
by the tides

we walk further on
at the water's edge
where the rocks are
dropped, polished
until the surf comes for us
pushing us, running
onto dry sand
as if to say
take no more of me
you have enough
take no more
of me


*** *** *** *** *** *** ***


walking hands full of pebbles
like when i was a little girl
wanting my hands to be bigger
longing for my mother's pockets
to hold more

i can't pick up another
without giving up one of the
treasures already found

i open my palms
perusing the tiny gifts
searching
maybe there is one
i can give up
leave behind

to fit this new one in

like the little girl
i am troubled by the choice
wishing
wanting for my mother's pockets
for longer fingers, bigger hands

why can't i just hold more i think
stretching my hands to try
several rocks fall away

too much
too far to stretch
too much to fit in
too much to give up

i place the new one back on the sand
pick up the others
closing my hand
walking on

they are enough
they are the extent of my reach
and that's
enough

what makes a really good Saturday

Being home
good friends that love you
being outside
sunny skies and beautiful weather
free ice cream
coffee
dancing
musical trike rides with Stevie, Micheal, Prince and Madonna
and the promise of good times to come

reconciliation

Recently, I spent one of the best weekends I have ever had, with my best friend, Laurie, on a little strip of beach on the Washington coast that we go to every year. Besides always being blown away by the sheer rugged beauty of the place I was astounded by some of the journeys Laurie and I have taken this year to heal the past and live healthy and whole in the present...mostly I was confronted with something I wanted to share with my friends and anyone still reading here - and that is that, regardless of the bumps, bruises, scars we all carry from our pasts, we - she and I, everyone - have so much love inside of us. We all have this power to forgive, to reconcile with those who have hurt us, to rise above, and give up being right long enough to just be with the people who are important to us.

I was reminded of a piece of writing that I first saw right after gulf war v 2.0 started:

I only learned last year,
That I can stop whatever violence
starts with me

I only learned last year
That love is infinitely more
interesting and more exciting and
more powerful than really
winning or really losing a fight

I only learned last year
That all war leads to death and
that all love leads away from death

-June Jordan

swimming under stars

can't sleep
it's like i am still on pacific coast time
the timezone with the seastacks and bald eagles
where the sunsets turn the sky and ocean on fire,
orange mirrorlike water, surrounding rocks covered
seastars, anemones, limpets and mussels, clinging
to life for one more night, for one more day

my face, dry from sun, wind, sand
warms now from the glowing fire
darkness falls, bits of spark float towards sky
leaving orange trails behind them like little comets
the big fat milky way fills its band in the sky
and we feel again like we are very very lucky
and very very small at the same time

my body is too warm by the fire
longing for the chilling cold of the water
toes, then knees
cold, then numb
running in the surf
diving under the tallest wave
coming to surface with a scream
the cold biting my torso and stomach
the beauty, strength of my body in turbulent water
i swim back towards shore
my legs still underwater lose feeling
my arms out in the wind are equally cold
but the middle, still in the frothing water
is strangely warm, my blood shunted to the core
pumping, i feel my heart beat strong and hard in my chest

i am running now on sand, longing for the soft dry towel
and the warmth of the fire
i stretch out next to it
bathing in its warmth, feeling my limbs relax, my heart slow
adrenalin still pumping
i am alive
all i can think is
i am alive
lovingly, beautifully, spectacularly
alive

-----
written 10/14 upon my return from my annual backpacking trip to the Washington coast.

getting your groove back

Upon returning it took me a week to get my groove back - thanks to Deep and Ankur, my moonwalk will never be the same :) and DJ Shooey. Some of you are already fans, but for those who aren't let's get together and go dance to her sometime soon: http://www.jennyshu.com/dj.html

and for those of you wanting the first moonwalk ever:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCt1BwWE2gA

er, I meant the dancestep - here's its debut:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8NA-IgKKvY

this is a great collection of MJ moonwalking and will save you hours of sitting in front of youtube looking for the best footage :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_3v-_p3ESo

Our Friday nights at Make Out Room are no longer, but the boys are due at a club in SOMA, Etiquette on Friday Nov. 2 in a monthly format. So we search for a new great place to go in the 'hood, but even with the distraction of Honeycut (http://tinyurl.com/32ls56), and tripping back to the 80s at beauty bar - I miss our nights on stage at MOR with Nickel Bag of Funk with whatever dance minions would grace the club's landscape. Everyone keeps telling me change is good, but I haven't found it yet in this case, so until Shooey starts playing the bar around the corner every Friday night, please forward me any fun dancing distractions you might have!

Last tidbits from travelling

So much has happened since I left Paris. I had hoped to finish writing stories about my travels and keep the blog going, but there has been little time - so for now, hopefully everyone will just be fine with some of the highlights!

First was the train back to London via the chunnel. If you ever have a chance take the train, and if you are then afforded a chance to ride in the luxury class - take it! The croissants with raspberry jelly and coffee are some of the best I've had.

In London, there was more curry (of course) and the Tate museum. Can I just say that I love this notion of going to the museum in the evening having visited both the Louvre and the Tate at night. For those of you interested here's my little list for SF:
MOMA 8:45 pm Thursdays
Asian 9 pm Thursdays
de Young 8:45 pm Fridays
Legion of the Palace of the something of honor...no late hours...but their name is too damn confusing anyway...who needs them! except for the rodin reproductions!
(oh how I miss evenings at the ansel adams museum)

If you're ever in London I would recommend the Tate (and I didn't even get to see the Turbine hall). Its a very different feeling art museum...and even if you're not a fan of Rothko, you have to check out the Seagram's paintings (if you don't know the story: http://arts.guardian.co.uk/critic/feature/0,1169,931796,00.html), housed now in one big room. All I can say is that I was a fan of Rothko (not sure why) long before seeing them, but was completely blown away by the awesome power and depth of the giant red canvases. Familiar shapes - windows, doors, beds, boxes - yet unlike all of them, in dark maroon, red, brown...essentially I can't describe them so you have to go see them for yourself.

Like the starlit flight to Toronto was the bookend at the beginning of my trip that all these stories were piled and leaning against...my sitting for a long time in the Seagrams mural room was like the bookend on the end of my trip, finishing the shelf and holding the stories together...everything thereafter was travel detail and logistics.